I was in an abusive relationship with one Dandogo that began abruptly in 2012. The abuse continued for 5 years until finally last year I decided to end it because I knew that if we stayed together…pass die.
So in March 2018, a little over a year ago I officially ended things in a dusty school between two cardboards. I checked a box and it was over! It took a couple weeks to finally be done but eventually our break up was confirmed.
Two months later I started a new relationship with Borborshow, full of hope and optimism but quite frankly with zero trust. He had not earned it.
Abuse victims often lack trust. We have heard it all before and once you get out it takes a long time to trust. With Borborshow things got off to a murky start right there the day we got together. My extended family who I had expected would take center stage to celebrate our party were treated like men pikin for strangers but ah look am ah say ok bo ah go bia.
Months down the line Borborshow kept his first major promise he had made to me. He had promised free education to the children in the village, and less than 6 months after we got together there it was.
I mean I was actually quite impressed because from the calculations I had done Borborshow e bin hardup, Dandogo bin don don all tin. But when your boo loves you and goes out of there way to keep promises you just say thank you, my guy, correct guy.
In spite of of my joy I still remained a sceptic, hoping for Borborshow to be who he said he would be but also knowing that all relationships have a honey moon period. I mean I was open to the new but still giving the direction corner yai to see if for true for true this was not also going to be another abusive one.
Ah say make we day go. Over the months there were highs, and of course there were lows. All new relationships have them. So I remained patient and hopeful though lacking trust because well I had been here before with Dandogo.
A little over a year in the relationship and I’m feeling like well its not perfect and my expectations have not been met but I had definitely chosen better this time.
One thing that reassured me was in the way he was faithful to collecting all the money Dandogo had cheated from our family-owned business. Every month he collected more and I began to slowly feel like before long we would have so much that we could start a small shop.
Outside of that though my trust remained low. I thought Borborshow would go for low hanging fruits that would be easily achievable wins that would help to build my trust. Show me by deed and action that he could take care of me and my family in the village; provide us with shelter, food, water, and medicine. For those of you who like me have family in the village you know these are things that impress us villagers. Those are the things that make the village people say ah dis wi pikin don get betteh posin.
Anyway yesterday im debul grap Borborshow announced that he had a dream and a voice told him to build a night club to lively village. Instead of going to the village and asking our people what they wanted Borborshow say ein get yai.
He said in fact the nightclub isn’t going to cost the village anything to build but after it is finished, he expects me and my village to pay entrance fee for 25 years.
We all shock so! So I decided to use my strong foreign acquired accent to ask some questions.
“Borborshow you think say dis na good time foh build this nightclub?”
Tan lek make ah noh ask ein fambul den butu cuss me good fasin. Den say in fact sef wi munku. Wi noh get vision.
Imagine that! You commout pan abusive relationship, you think you have found a better place and just for asking questions boom cuss. Den say if me and me village noh sabi dance e lef pan wi. Dem day build di night club ma.
When I was with Dandogo he wanted to borrow money to build a bar. At the time Borborshow said that di bar money boku, na alaki bizness. Now Borborshow money na 4x di bar money en 25 years for pay foh am.
I would love to go to the club myself, I love to enjoy like anyone else but at this time when di place so dry e day boss lip I was really hoping he would take some things slow and other things fast.
Make quick quick make mi village people den get wata en eat but take time for spend money way we noh get. But oh ya enti you know, den noh call am Borborshow foh natin. E say “pow oh pow” (na so den kin tok am enti?).
Anyway ah jus cam tell oona, make oona bia witness. Make den noh go say wetin make ah noh bin tok say problem bin day.
If you see Borborshow tell am say mi say make e noh forget ow di go di go, na so back e day cam, Titi Wakabot always day na road.